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wHy am i still hERe
20 December 2010 @ 02:50 pm

I wish my boss would just get off my back. When I come in to work at noon, don't bitch me out for every little thing that has gone wrong. I don't start until 1:00. I come in early to catch up, not be chewed out. You aren't paying me yet, so don't scold me like I'm a child. I'll take that shit while I'm on the clock, but not before. And while I'm at it, I don't get paid enough for all the shit I do. I'm basically trying to fit a part time and full time job into 40 hours a week. Im stressed (not that you care), I'm overwhelmed and overworked, and if I make a few mistakes here and there, I'm sorry. But that's what happens when I have too much to do. Things slip through the cracks. And considering I hardly ever make mistakes, I think you can fucking deal with it. I do more work in one day than you do all week, bitch. You don't appreciate me, so quit telling me you do. It's just lip service. Put up or shut up. Treat me with respect or get out of my face and shut up. Dont lie to me. I hate liars. And I hate you. Fuck off and die.

And don't make me listen to another second of your stupid stories about your 'perfect' children and your loser boyfriend. He treats you so bad? Leave him. You don't want to, you got no one but yourself to blame when things go wrong. Hes a loser. You pay for everything. He doesn't have a job. He's a realtor who hasn't sold anything in a year, at least, and has no income. You bought a car so you two could 'share' it, and you never get to use it. Instead, he's either with you or you catch the bus. Pathetic. He's using you an we've all told you that, but you won't listen. And I think you're getting what you deserve, you selfish bitch.

You think you work so hard? Everyone in the office knows you don't really work, so quit your whining. So you can't take time off during the holidays. So what? Neither can I. And that a stupid rule *you* made up. You're the one who always tell us 'Dont take time off around a holiday. That's not right. It's not fair to everyone else.' take your own advice and quit bitching. It's not all about you.

I hate you so much. I wish I didn't need this job so badly. The second I find a better one, I'm outta here. I'm so done with you. I can't wait til I can tell you where to shove your bigoted opinions and abuse. Fucking cunt.

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wHy am i still hERe
17 July 2010 @ 09:20 pm

Drew a quick sketch of my pretty puppy's face today. Thought it turned out pretty well.

I haven't drawn anything in months, so this wasn't a bad first effort. Lol.

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wHy am i still hERe
15 July 2010 @ 09:24 pm

God has the most awesome, fucked up sense of humor. Ever. Check out what I found in the sky the other day.

You see it, right? So fucked up. And so cool. Lol.

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wHy am i still hERe
07 July 2010 @ 09:21 pm

So. I go attacked by a rabid lab tech today. Lol. Had to get some blood work done and the lab tech had *no* idea how to draw blood. Two girls tried and barely succeeded. And the first girl left m with this huge, raised purple bruise where she let the needle move under my skin. What an incompetent idiot. If they'd listened to me in the first place, none of this would have happened. I told them to take blood from the back of my hand and try didn't think they could. But that's where they ended up getting the blood from in the end.

You know, not all patients are ignorant. Some of us actually pay attention and know what the hell we're talking about. Thanks.

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wHy am i still hERe
24 June 2010 @ 10:59 am

Today is my eleventh anniversary at my job. Yes. I've survived eleven long years at this place. Way to go, me! Lol

At least I get taken out to lunch today. ;)

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wHy am i still hERe
18 June 2010 @ 05:24 pm

This is the first time ive posted from my iPhone. Seems okay.

This picture is of a cardinal we were feeding at lunch today. What a cutie.

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wHy am i still hERe
14 June 2010 @ 09:53 pm
So, work's getting more and more busy. I'm doing new things, so it's cool.

I injured my index finger somehow, though. It's been in a splint for a week now, and it'll be another week before it's free again. Makes it hard to write, type, do practically anything. Sucky.

On a brighter note, I've been losing weight. I've lost 20 pounds so far. Go me! ^___^ It helps when my sister does this with me. Support always makes it easier.

I love and miss you all!
 
 
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wHy am i still hERe
29 January 2010 @ 03:44 pm
People confuse me. I confuse me sometimes. Life is weird. How can you like someone okay, but be really tired of their issues, then when you find out they have a serious problem you feel softee toward them?

Does that even make sense?

I found out today that a woman I work with is dying of cancer. That... hurts. I like her a lot. She's always been a pretty good person to me. Yeah, she's a bit of a user, but who isn't sometimes? Her daughter, who also works for us, is the one who told me. I find myself softening up towards her daughter even though I've been angry with her for a very long time for personal reasons. Isn't that weird?

I guess I'm just another fucking bleeding heart. That's so fucking irritating.

But I really like her mom. And this isn't the first time someone has passed through our doors and we've lost them due to cancer. This will actually be the third. All people I really liked. And then there's the girl who either committed suicide or overdosed. We won't ever know. Her family didn't wanna talk about it. We were kinda close. I am so tired of losing people.

But I know this isn't about me. It's about them. This woman and her daughter are going through something horrible right now. And I feel for them. I don't know what I'll do when I lose my mom. Probably freak out and wanna die.

This just bothers me so much. I had a good cry at work, but it still hurts. Damn.
 
 
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wHy am i still hERe
21 August 2009 @ 09:56 pm
Okay, so... it's been a while since I've been on livejournal. I kinda haven't been talking to anyone for months. I'm sick all the time and I'm working all the time... it's hard right now. I know that's no excuse, but that's all the explanation I have.

I'm looking for another job. I'm over this one. I'm tired of being taken advantage of and disrespected. I'm tired of having to play the game and put on a good face for people I hate. I'm tired of being the boss' whipping boy and getting nothing in return. I'm tired of being responsible for making everyone happy but myself.

So. I'm looking. So far, no luck, with the economy being what it is. But I'll keep trying. I can be patient. I've survived this long. I can do this.

I haven't been writing at all. I feel like all of my energy gets sucked up by my job and I have none left over for my muse. Like, I'm so grounded in the 'real world' that I can't connect with my imagination anymore.

Or maybe that's just the horrific migraine I've had for two weeks now. But I've felt that way for a while.

I feel the need for a change. A purge. Something different.

Sorry for the whining. Sometimes I just need to get it out.

On a brighter note, I am now able to take any picture on the net that I want, so my collections are growing exponentially. lol. But I'm happy. And videos aren't a problem for me either. Not anymore. lol. I am very pleased about that. After years of wishing I could take them, I've finally figured out how. Thanks to my sister for getting me started.

And there's so much new music coming out soon... I can't wait. I am especially looking forward to Jeffree Star, Lights, Tokio Hotel and The Academy Is. Hopefully Paramore and Boys Like Girls don't suck either. lol. I am sick and tired of being let down by bands I like (Silverchair, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus...I'm looking at you).

Got into Gossip Girl recently. I thought that show would suck, but I actually enjoy it a lot. My sister and I have been devouring the first two seasons. I can't wait to see the third.

Introduced my sister to the wonder that is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I knew she'd like it. lol. It's right up her alley.

I'll leave you all with some of my favorite lyrics right now. It's from memory, so it may  not be 100% accurate, but you get the picture:

She said, "You're just a letdown.
Another one of my mistakes.
I never loved you anyway.
I never did and I never will."


"Letdown" - This Providence

 
 
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wHy am i still hERe
17 January 2009 @ 11:08 am
Okay. I know I'm sick a lot, but  was feeling a  bit better for a week or so there... And now I'm getting sick again, just in time for my boss to come back. The same boss who bitches about how sick I am all the time.

Great. What timing.

I'm gonna keep myself doped up on cold medicine so I can get lots of rest this weekend and, hopefully, feel better by Monday.

Bah.
 
 
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